... he howled

There are an amazing number of words used to replace the word said. These words can be both a blessing and a curse. The right combination and you feel like you are living in the book. Over-application and you want to pull your eyes out with a fish hook. At least I do.

Today, I tackle howl.

There is a certain gentleman in my life (I may or may not be married to him) who may or may not consider himself hilarious.

There is a strange thing about going "back home" for a weekend. My husband and I may not consider ourselves city people, but our dog is a city dog. She is a city dog who has access to a back yard, thus no sense of traffic. When we go "back home", despite the fact that we are visiting a farm, the dog requires leashing to ensure she does not run out to the highway, meeting an early demise.

It was cold(ish) out and my husband was feeling chivalrous. He took the dog for a walk.

Here is where the plot thickens:

My niece and her friend were having a sleep-over. They were outside (and feeling brave). They decided to talk to the coyotes. My husband decided to answer.

What did he do?:

He howled.

The result:

A couple of shrieking girls tearing into the house.

On using howl when howling is not occurring

The word is often used to invoke the charged feeling of the howl, usually to describe things like:

Loud, joyful - and perhaps manly - laughter.

Loud, broken-hearted crying.

Where is the commonality?:

The volume.

The exuberant expression of emotion (Dare I say raw, animal emotion? - I'm a drama queen).

The I-don't-care-if-you-hear-me-in-face-I-hope-you-hear-me attitude.

My recommended usage of the word howl: I suppose it depends on the situation. Ex. 1 sentence in coyote language requires 4 howls (Howl. Howl, howl, hooowwwwlllll. Yip. Yip.)

My verdict as self-appointed word police (think fun police, only nerdier): only use one variation of howl per chapter (Are they laughing? Are they crying? Are they coyotes?).

What do you think?

... she chortled

There are an amazing number of words used to replace the word said. These words can be both a blessing and a curse. The right combination and you feel like you are living in the book. Over-application and you want to stab your eyes out with a pen knife. At least I do.

Today, I tackle chortle.

Let’s be realistic – I have perhaps chortled twice in my life, at least one of these times, I am sure tequila was involved.

I have only ever seen one textbook-defined chortle I can be certain wasn’t just a jolly laugh or a merry chuckle. It was Thanksgiving, my niece was three and she was eating blueberry pie.

Well, she wasn’t eating it; she was shoving it in her mouth. Without chewing or swallowing. She was beginning to resemble a small rodent when she looked up and met my eyes.

I don’t know if it was the look of disgust on my face or the simple joy of pie, but she opened her mouth and laughed. It was one of those big belly laughs that make everyone in the room join in hysterical laughter until tears run down their faces. Her eyes made those cute little rainbow shapes, she was smiling and around all that pie, her laughter had a sort of loud gurgling quality. If I weren’t laughing, I probably would have thrown up. That, my friends, set the bar pretty high for all other chortles wishing to follow.

My recommended usage of the word chortle: 1 per story. More if pie is involved.

What do you think?

Its all about the he said she said

There are two things you should know about me.

Thing 1: I have an addiction to office supplies.

Thing 2: I have a limited short-term memory and go crazy if I think of something I might need to remember for later.

Thus, the avalanche of little notebooks I keep in my house, my purse, my car... To write down random stuff.

One of the things I did in one of them is write down a collection of words. Words I like, words I find most descriptive under a specific circumstance, words that describe other words.

In this post are the list of words I collected to be used in place of said. It is a list I both hate and worship (check out tomorrow's post to see why). I've found these words in books, online, by listening to people talk (TV, radio, humans).

My suggestion is not to take this list with a grain of salt, but to use it the way one would use salt.

There are a number of different salts to be used in cooking: sea salt, kosher salt, rock salt, celtic salt etc. They may all add a special something to a dish that plain old table can't quite achieve, but they all serve the same purpose - to make the food taste salty. The amount of salt added to a dish are not exponentially related to its deliciousness, regardless of the quality or variety.

Consider yourself warned ;)

contested cited discussed asked appeased

continued claimed disclosed replied approved

contradicted coaxed disrupted blinked argued

chimed contributed comforted divulged began

articulated cooed commanded echoed sputtered

assented counseled commented elaborated assumed

countered communicated emphasized assured coughed

crabbed cackled cajoled calculated called

caroled cautioned challenged craved cracked

cried criticized croaked cautioned crooned

cross-examined chanted cursed charged chattered

chided chipped in chimed in chirped choked

chortled complained conceded concluded concurred

confessed confided confirmed consented consoled

crowed drawled droned debated decided

declared decreed delivered defended demanded

demurred denied denounced described determined

dictated directed disclaimed enjoined enumerated

equivocated estimated enunciated exhorted exaggerated

exclaimed expiated explained exploded exposed

faltered foretold fumed gagged inquired

insinuated volunteered ventured prompted supplied

thundered hesitated added agreed corrected

whispered hesitated abjured accused acknowledged

added addressed admitted admonished advised

advocated affirmed agreed alleged allowed

alluded announced answered apologized appealed

asserted assured attested averted avouched

avowed blubbered blurted blustered boasted

boomed bragged breathed broke in brought forth

babbled baited bantered bargained barked

bawled began begged believed belittled

bellowed condescended

• I don't know how to put a table in blogger. If anyone knows how, I'd appreciate a heads up - I'll give this list a bit of a tidy (the OCD in me goes crazy that the list isn't alphabetical and perfectly lined up).