I'm Baaaaack (well, 87% back)

Well, my dear friends. My colleagues and I have returned from China, bringing with us our newly acquired slew of parasites and ailments.

Actually, I have been back for over a week, but it has been a weak week. Until now, the only possible blog post for me would have looked something along the lines of:

I R Sick (followed by accounts of my doctor-visiting adventures).

or

Water. Water. Bring Water.

Anyway, I'd say I'm back up to 87%. I have regained my appetite and shake like a Chihuahua every time I eat (I lost a million lbs, totally messing with my Shape-Ups experiment - Don't worry, I plan to gain them back asap in the form of milkshakes. MMmmmmmmm milkshakes).

So On With The Show

This is not China-related, but it was the moment where I realized I was well enough to rejoin the ranks of humans (or whatever ranks I used to be in):

My friend had a party (I told her I wouldn't blog about it (I only blog about parties where I fail to socialize) - I'm blogging anyway).

So. My friend had a party. She lives with her fiance and a new(er) roomate.

We were outside eating watermelon (ok. I was eating all the watermelon. Chihuahua-style) and I noticed a cute little garden in the yard. My friend's fiance is european and an awesome cook, thus I assumed it was his garden.

He's also a little straight laced.

I caught the eye of the new(er) roommate, brought my finger to my lips, whispered, "Shhhhhh," and tossed my watermelon rind in the garden.

She returned the, "Shhhhh," and smiled.

Later that night, I found out it was, in fact, her garden I was tossing watermelon rinds in (yes, rinds. I'm a jerk).

I left early (recuperating people need their rest), but not before ensuring the fire pit and the roof of the neighbor's shed were equally graced with watermelon rinds.

That's right, my friends. It is time to return to writing. The creativity is beginning to flow in a not-so-savory direction.

Do you find yourselves becoming inadvertently (or destructively) creative if you spend too much time away from your creative outlet of choice?

Sweet gesture? Villain in sheep's clothing?

Lately, I have been hearing lots of man-to-man tips and tricks on how to get a girl to like you - mostly radio advice. They are comprised of ways to a) impress a girl or b) emulate an alpha male.

Tips like:

• Insult her

• Wait five minutes after meeting her before paying any attention to her

• Touch her (arm taps etc) somewhere in the area of 10 times within an evening

• My favorite: at lunch, some guy went to a restaurant, left his credit card number and instructions that when he asked for the bill after his date that night, they were to say, "Oh no, ___. You eat here free!"

They might be sweet if a guy wants to impress someone he cares about (although it seems a bit manipulative to me). I guess if you get a girl's emotions up, even if its anger, she will be thinking about you. As for the 'insult her' advice, I have never wanted to date someone because they insulted me - although I may have wanted to bat them up-side the head with one of those cardboard tubes wrapping paper comes rolled around.

I thought these tips might be something to keep in mind if I ever had a guy (imaginary) trying to get a girl (also imaginary) to like him. Then, today I was getting my hair cut and a supplier was in, trying to get one of the hairdressers to buy a electric trimmer. She didn't like it. He started shaving the hair on his arm.

Here's how it went (I couldn't help but listen. My toner was setting):

Her: It isn't even working.

Him (with an insulting tone of voice): What? Have you been drinking today?

Her: Pardon me?

Him: Have you been drinking today?

Her: No

Then he showed her a different electric trimmer. They chatted about it (warranties, etc) and she ordered it and a bunch of other stuff. The guy wandered around the store, making sure to say by to all the hairdressers ("Bye, ladies.") and left.

Aside from his one jerk-face moment, he seemed like a nice enough guy. So why had he been so rude to her? They didn't seem to have a chummy enough relationship to talk to one another like that. Why had she ordered anything from him after his bad behavior? Had he applied one of the dating tips to make a sale? Had she let him because he was the official shop supplier?

Where does the sweet guy trying to impress a girl become a villain? For me, I think it is the comment, "Have you been drinking today?" It may have worked for the two of them, but as an outsider, the situation felt absolutely contrived.

I suppose there is room in a story for this type of character, but the hero-type I had in mind isn't it. The old adage Be Yourself should slide over to Let Your Character Be Himself as well. If he uses some out-of-character trick, perhaps she should be attuned enough to know (maybe too polite to let on, but she should know - perhaps this was the hairdresser. After all, she didn't buy the sub-standard trimmer), or maybe there should be some catastrophic disaster (no electric trimmer sale).

Anyway, got to go. I have all sorts of villain ideas swirling around in my mind.

All I see is, "I give up"

A thought-provoking blog post of Rachelle Gardner's asks her readers what they give up to be writers.

Although a lot of the responses are inspiring, some are absolutely, jaw-dropping-to-the-floor-ingly heart-breaking.

Clean houses. Healthy meals. Exercise. Time with family. Sleep. The possibility of finding their soul-mates. Having children. And so on... Some of the responses have lists of five or six points similar to the ones I've paraphrased here.

All I can say is been there, done that. Eventually it is going to catch up with you.

For instance: There is a Thanksgiving I will never get back because I spent it writing a school paper (a paper that sucked because my heart wasn't in it). I've seen fellow students put aside their personal lives and health for the sake of a project. I got so stressed my hair started falling out. Instead of slowing down, I got a haircut. This happened twice before I decided maybe I did have some time in my day to go to a yoga class.

Writing is a thing I do because I enjoy it. Not because I want to make myself a martyr with a book being the finished product of my misery. Its my way of staying out of the pit of despair (drama, drama, drama), not an excuse to jump into one.

Think about it. There are moments where it makes sense to drop all else and write until it feels like your hands are going to fall off. There are times where I do, but do you really want to reach a point in your life where you sit down to write the list of what you gave up to have 80 000 words (How long is a piece of string? Popular opinion says 80 000 - 100 000 words, on average) in your jaded little hands?

Do you want to risk having that moment where you look at those 80 000 - 100 000 words and think, "You are beautiful, but I resent you." Or worse, "You are the ugliest little duckling I have ever seen in my life and I hate you. Where has my life gone." I'm not ready to face that.

I can't even joke I don't clean my house. I thought I could, but recently went through a spring cleaning phase where I had to ask my mom to help me clean my kitchen and it took the 2 of us 6 hours to do it (Thanks, mom! Love you!). Granted, we cleaned the stove and washed the cupboards and caulked the countertops, but it took 6 hours. Six hours!

Eventually it is going to catch up with you. The question is, how hard will the wave hit when it does?

Of all the comments I read on Rachelle's blog, none of them mentioned avoiding brushing their teeth. This tells me there is still hope. I think what we need is a little rewording. A bit of forward-planning at times and some living in the moment at others.

Instead of thinking I give up x for y. Perhaps we can think of it as I multitask where I can, prioritize where I can't.

• Don't give up reading: read in the tub. Personal hygiene, check. Reading, check. (I once told my sister I hadn't read Anna Karenina because it was too heavy. She got me one of those book holders for the bath.)

• Arthur Slade and kc dyer write while on the treadmill.

• Turn on the radio and dance while making supper or doing the dishes.

• Books on tape. Books on tape. Books on tape.

• Instead of saying, "I don't sleep in," say, "I wake up early."

• Time-saver to Avoid: personal telephone conversations in a public washroom. The person on the other end is no fool. Neither are the people in the stall beside you.

I don't mean to belittle anyone who feels they have given up something they care about to write / for their chosen profession. I just hope you might find a way to rearrange. To find that bottleneck and find a way to squeeze a bit more joy in your life. (I wish I had that Thanksgiving in my list of memories)

If you are going to give something up, don't give up the things that make you Who you are, What you are. Give up the time sucks and creativity killers you don't need in your life. Spend less time talking to tele-marketers on the phone. Take a list when you go grocery shopping. Arrange to pay your bills on the internet. Avoid wasting mental and physical energy on unnecessary toxic situations. You might find you have time to knit and to write - or even more time to knit / write.

Things might change. Ten years from now I might be on here, grousing about all the things I'd given up while being too stubborn to admit I'd been doing it. Or worse, I might come across a comment left on this post by Anonymous. Two words: You Failed.

Although I am nowhere near doing all the things on this list (or completing everything I have on my to-do list by the end of each day), I refuse to toss my hands up in the air and say, "I give up." I hope you do too. We deserve to be happy while doing what we love. We deserve not having to resent 'thing a' because we would rather be doing 'thing b'. We deserve not to feel guilty or selfish, when we are doing the best we can.

I just wish I knew how. Its a work in progress, I suppose.

Tell me, what is something you refuse to give up?

Meet my robot friend

Blogging rule: Don't write blog posts of epic length. Hopefully today's post balances out yesterday's.

There is nothing worse than spending an exorbitant amount of time working on a project only to realize it isn't as amazing as it was supposed to be. Well, there are far worse things, but I like being dramatic.

Let's all stop to consider all the ugly bird houses in the world. It must be a rite of passage for everyone to build at least one ugly bird house in their life.

AutoCrit Writing Center is helping me to turn my ugly bird houses into what I consider mildly attractive bird houses. At least it is keeping my bird houses from being full of holes with sharp nails jabbing out at all angles.

It offers a Manuscript Editing Wizard with varying levels of analysis. I don't care what you are writing: newspaper articles, fairy tales, scientific manuscripts. It can show you any unnecessary words, patterns or crazy grammar you may have inadvertently used. And its not a person, so if you are shy, "Hello great, unbiased, non-human beta reader."

Obviously, they want you to purchase the service, but there are free components that are helpful.

I'm trying to make this post a shortie and we're on the brink of average length, so I'd better dash. Give AutoCrit a peek. It can't hurt.

It Builds Character

Have you ever had to do something you don't want to only to have another person suggest you do it anyway, saying if anything, it will "help build character"?

Well, I built character. I had to go to a murder mystery to do it.

I was expecting human checkers, only the Clue version with costumes. It was a Hollywood theme murder mystery and I was to be the social-climbing younger sister of a movie star who was murdered later that evening. More importantly, it was a fund-raising event to help find a cure for cancer.

Anyway, my character was somewhat disliked by the others. Three times I was asked to leave while people were talking. The other movie stars looked at me and whispered. I was accused of being a murderer. It felt like high school all over (except the last bit).

ps - If you are currently in high school, hang in there. Things get better. Sooo much better.

The worst part is, I left my purse in the car. I didn't have a book with me, not even a pen. I was officially stuck in the here and now.

With all due respect to everyone who had been there (friends who are much better actors than myself) and the good intentions of the evening, I just didn't like it. I think it was the gossip, but I got ridiculously upset. To my credit, I pretended I was having fun. aka You can control the number of times you smile in a day - Perhaps I resembled a territorial primate ;) (if this paragraph sounds crazy, see last post).

You know what? It was good for me. By the second half of the evening, I convinced myself to have a bit more fun (although I ran for the car when it was time to go). I even figured out the murderer - The Guy with the Fake Mullet.

Here is The Best Part: In my imaginary world, there is this close-knit group of selkies that have refused to talk to me. Perhaps they saw me looking pathetic and decided to throw me a bone, because they have started chattering like crazy. One even let me know why they stayed quiet for so long.

Finally! I get to the point:

Even though a character my not be the most important person in your story, they should be the most important person in their own.

Why couldn't I get the selkies to talk to me?

I wasn't taking them seriously. I wanted to make them that character you could pass in the street and say something like, "Well, hello there. I see you're a selkie."

"Why yes, you're right."

Life's not like that. Consider the selkie rules: In stories, the selkie is most predominant as the selkie bride. In the water, the selkie is a seal. However, they can come on land, remove their skins and walk around as a human.

If a human male finds her skin and hides it, she is immediately his (generally, his wife). So long as the skin is hidden, she will be a good wife and mother. If she ever finds it though, she's gone. No matter what connections she has formed, she will return to the sea. Sometimes she will approach the shore to visit her children, but she doesn't stay.

So what does it mean to be a selkie?

• Never trusting anyone. Even a woman can't be trusted. What if she is only your friend so she can find your skin for a male friend or family member?

• If you become a selkie wife, it is probably difficult to make friends with the other women in town (I only had to put up with it for an evening. Imagine a lifetime).

• Once you have children or even if you just care about your human husband, there would be fear of angering him or of him falling in love with another woman. If he wants you out of the house, all he has to do is leave your seal skin out in plain sight.

• Are there even any rules about the number of selkies one might collect? Could a person steal a bunch of skins and have more than one selkie wife? Keep them as servants? Sell them on the black market?

• If I were a selkie longing for the sea, I know I would be afraid of a house fire. I also wouldn't want any company in the house in case someone terrible would steal my seal skin.

• What of the selkie lover left behind (if there is one) or children? Does anyone ever come to help you escape? Not even friends and family? Do they wait for you to return? Do they go on with their lives? Does the human husband kill them to prevent any unwanted rescues or to make the search for your skin futile since there would be no one to return to?

These are only a few ponderings that struck me in the moment. I'm sure many more pass through the minds of selkie brides than those above. Even though they are only briefly visited in my story, I think I had a chance to get to know a few selkie women better and for who they are, rather than for what they could do for me.

I don't care if it sound silly. Wishing I had a book or something (Anything!) to take me to a different situation gave me a small taste of what it would be like to be a selkie, longing for her skin.

Oh, and are there more murder mysteries in my future? Probably. I might even surprise myself and have some fun.

Character built?

Check and Check.

Signature scent

I think I have a signature scent. Well, scents. One, I use when I want to smell good, one when I want to smell fabulous. We went to a party this weekend and I wore Scent #3 - a perfume that was just laying around and I figured what the heck.

What the heck is right. All night, I had the urge to go wash my wrists. I smelled fine, I just didn't smell like me. I smelled like some lady hugged me and her scent stuck.

Smell (I'd put aroma, but sometimes it's just plain-old-smell) can play a major role in memory (Have a big exam?: wear the same perfume while studying and while writing the exam). We know what our childhood home smelled like. We know what our best friend's childhood home smelled like. We can recognize the scent of rain on the air. We know the smell of a hockey bag.

I think it triggers something in stories, too:

• Reading a Karen Marie Moning book? Sandalwood = the smell of a sexy, sexy man. What's that on the air? Sandalwood? Don't be surprised if Adam Black is around the next corner.

• Jamie Fraser HATES the smell of lavender. Is that lavender soap? No, thank you. You can just go ahead and toss that in the latrine. My husband would rather remove the dirt from his body with a potato peeler.

• Bella smells so delicious, vampires have trouble controlling themselves from turning her into a snack on a windy day. It's windy! Quick Bella! Jump in that human-sized Rubbermaid container!

Anyway, I got a bit carried away there. Something about scent helps the memory stick. So long as the smell is recognizable by the reader, it can connect the dots. It helps share a bit more about them than eye and hair color.

It shares their hobbies ex. horse sweat and fresh-mown grass vs diesel fuel and engine grease.

It shares their personality ex. Davidoff's Cool Water vs Vivian Westwood's Boudoir.

Tell me people of blogland: Do you have a signature scent? Do one of your characters? Do you have a favorite book where you could recognize a character by scent alone?

Be Passive-Aggressive

No, I don't mean leave the dirty dishes on your room-mate's bed every time they bake and don't clean up after themselves.

I mean be passive-aggressive, as in get rid of the passive tone in your writing. Aggressively.

How?

Turf "was" every chance you get.

Its hard to do since you can't erase "was" and still have a coherent sentence. There is rarely a single word substitution, but a little elbow grease never hurt anyone.

Until this morning, this is all I knew: Don't overuse "was." This blog post by Celia Yeary made it clear WHY. I recommend you check it out.

Do / say / write / the hard thing (Part II)

Quote of the Day:

"One day, you will conquer the world, but for now, you don't know how to send a letter."

- My Friend

This is the point I tried to make in last week's post: Its easy to do the easy thing. Its not always easy to do the right thing. For the entire week, I've wanted to retract that statement, but didn't bother since this is also the week I learned you can't erase your RSS feeds on Google Reader. C'est la vie.

I wanted to switch to: Its easy to do the easy thing. Its impossible to do the right thing.

Highlights:

While driving, I saw a girl (my age) run to catch a bus, trip and fall flat on her face. The contents of her purse spilled all over the sidewalk and she missed her bus. I thought, "Here is where you should do something nice," and slowed down. I waited for her to walk up and realized she was walking slow, waiting for me to leave. Okay, city people don't give strangers rides, got it.

I got a letter in the mail - my handwriting. I had sent someone a thank-you letter, only I had put my address in the Send To section of the envelope, not the Return Address section. I appear thankless. Resend.

Today started with me reading Victoria Lynn Schmidt's 45 Master Characters and finding my character archetype (although not a bang-on match) is The Maiden (but I don't Want to be a Maiden. I WANT to be an Amazon!), and ended with me blasting myself in the throat with a spray hose in a barn (think gentler than a pressure washer, but it would beat a garden hose in a fight).

It was coming to where I thought I would just add a, "That's What She Said," in a comment on the title and say I wanted to be naughty. There. Didn't worry about what others thought while paying homage to The Office.

Then it happened:

Mild scolding in a meeting led to me stand up for myself.

Was it exhilarating?

No.

Do I feel shorter?

Yes.

But I stood up for myself. Boy was it hard, but not impossible.

Do / say / write / the hard thing

There is a saying: .... well, I can't type it out in any semblance of order, so I'll give you the gist of it: Sometimes we are given choices in life but are not sure which one is the right decision. Chances are, the choice requiring the most difficult undertaking is the answer.

- Not always -

For example, programming your VCR. The most difficult undertaking would involve not reading the manual. The right choice is probably to read the instructions, otherwise don't come crying to me - actually, even if you have read the manual, don't come crying to me. Well... you can come crying, just don't expect me to do anything about it. Technology and I don't mesh well (the force is not strong with this one).

Anyway, here is my point: its easy to do the easy thing. Its not always easy to do the right thing.

They (the same people who use the opening saying I couldn't articulate) say that hard thing, those words you are too shy or polite or stubborn to say out loud are probably what you need to write down.

I am attempting to apply this to not only my story, but everyday life. We only get one chance and one day, I don't want to look back and see all I ever did was the easy thing - My husband would probably argue I make everything difficult ;)

As a kid, I was taught if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. For the most part, I stick to this. However, there are times where logistically, this does not make sense.

So I challenge you: some time in the next week, do that thing you've been putting off, that thing you know won't be easy but you're dying to try (and deep down inside you know you probably should). I'm not sure what my thing will be, but I'll keep you updated. Stop by and share yours if you like.

That is a problem

There are words we are not supposed to overuse. My favorite word to not overuse is 'that'. As a general rule of thumb, if you have a sentence with 'that' in it, read it out loud twice - once with 'that' in the sentence, once with it omitted.

If the sentence makes sense without 'that', you could probably leave it out.

Caution:

If you are concerned you are using 'that' too often and decide to trade it for 'which', be sure 'which' fits in that place. Perhaps 'that' is necessary.

Here are some words I love to overuse:

it

was

look

could

anything ending in ly - my favorite!!!

Something to work on. That(mwahahahaha)'s all for now. What are your favorite words to overuse / not overuse?

Make me believe you

Have you ever read a book where you just didn't believe what is happening? I don't mean agree with specific viewpoints, I mean BELIEVE IT IS REALLY HAPPENING. It can go on and on and you just want to call, "BS! I don't believe you!". How can a story have so much room to share and leave the reader feeling hollow? Perhaps it is because a story's length provides just enough rope to hang one's self with.

Take song lyrics, for instance. How long is a song? Two minutes? Five minutes? A person is not expected to sit down with that song for 7 hours. After two minutes, a person can love a song, hate a song, feel indifferent, listen to it until every word is memorized. A song has an infinitesimal amount of time to share its message. The message might be random, vapid awesomeness (nothing wrong with that if you ask me), but every now and then you'll come across a set of lyrics that can tell you exactly the person who wrote them felt in less than ten words. Less than five.

• "Love is a first"

• "I want you to want me"

• "Like the red sea, she split me open"

• "I'm not going to write you a love song"

• "When a heart breaks, it don't break even"

I like to think there has to be one special thing a person does in their life. Everyone does special things every day, but there is one extraordinary thing that will stand out when all is said and done. The trick is, you won't know what it is until all is said and done.

In that same tone, every task performed repeatedly in one's life will have one moment that out-shines the rest. Even buying milk - I don't know how, you figure it out and let me know when you do ;)

What it all boils down to is you can write a story, or a song, or a letter. But don't censor it to become something you think another person will want to see. Write what is real. Write what really happens. Don't say, "She's wonderful and exciting," when what you really need to say is, "She's as hard as AC/DC, she gets my thunder struck."

I can't see the fire in your eyes, but I want to read it.

All writing is good writing

All writing is good writing is good writing. It may not all be fit for human consumption, but I feel it has its place.

The fear of bad writing should not hold us back. It should propel us forward. How can we learn without trying?

How can we get better without trying?

We need to try.

Courage comes from the ability to face one's fears and to move onward in spite of them.

At times, I don't know what is more frightening, the fear that the writing will never be good enough or the fear that once the snarls and rough edges are cleared away, something shiny will emerge. Once you are holding this object in your shaking paw, what do you do with it?

But it doesn't matter if we don't try. If we won't practice flapping our wings, we will never learn to fly.

On Villains

Here is my thinking: Villains are not villains because they were born to be evil / forced to become evil. Or, at least, not all are.

Not all villains are even evil, but there is something about them we need to be the "bad guy."

People have different thought patterns, chemical makeup, etc. There are psychological disorders behind people doing terrible things. Control issues, products of one's childhood and so forth.

Thus, there is room for a villain who does terrible things because they have sadistic tendencies, but I don't think every villain should be so for this reason. There can be more than one villain in a story. There can be more than one type of story written.

As intriguing as the character arc of the hero / heroine can be the character arc of the villain. A villain who does a terrible thing because they feel they must can be more sinister than a villain doing a terrible thing because they think it is fun. There is that added sense of urgency. That feeling of desperation. It isn't the same as a villain embarking on our equivalent of an exciting trip to Vegas.

A trip to Vegas could be just as fun as a trip to Atlantic City. The villain doing something they must does not have the option of going to Atlantic City. They have their ticket to Vegas in hand. One way. Once they get there, they have no time for the strip. Strictly a business trip.

There is something about that emotional stake to up the level of depravity in a villain. I don't mean they have to do something absolutely crazy and insane to be a villain (I don't know who this villain is, they might be the quiet, sneaky type). I mean their intentions should be believable.

In some ways, there can be layers to who the villain is as well. Our hero could be someone else's villain. Mr. Rochester keeping his insane wife locked up in the attic is the one example that always pops in my mind. We love him. Jane Eyre loves him. I bet his insane wife is of a different opinion, even if he has her locked up for what he considers "her own good".

For all I know, I am someone's villain. You are someone's villain. Each person, trying to go through life the best they can is a villain to another.

Realistically, I am probably far too boring to be another person's villain, but how do I know? How do I know my trying to do good in my life isn't inadvertently harming another?

Personally, I have a bit of a flair for the dramatic, so my villains tend to be more outgoing with their evil-doing than the everyday inadvertent villain, but I still like to think about their motivation. They likely possess a general sense of what is right and wrong. They may feel bad about what they are doing. Would they feel worse if they did "the right thing"?

Why?

Every good story needs a ninja

I remember reading somewhere about the ninja cliche. I can't remember it verbatim, but it goes something along the lines of: unless you are writing a story about ninjas, don't toss one in just to make things exciting. Ninjas are exciting. Boring stories cannot be made so by the addition of a ninja.

Here is where I think every good story needs a ninja: during the writing process.

That's right folks, there are times when you must set aside the love your own writing to sharpen that katana.

How many of your adverbs actually need that -ly ending? How many adverbs are truly necessary? Slash away.

How many times does the first word of one of your sentences start with (verb)ing? Hit one with a blow dart.

Do you use the same word repeatedly? In the same passage? In the same paragraph? In the same sentence? Knock those spare words away with your nunchakus (numb-chuks to the Napoleon Dynamite fans in the crowd).

At first, it is difficult. Handling so many weapons with ease is not simple. Every now and then, there is a risk of getting cut and no one likes getting cut. No one likes the pain, but its like ripping off a band-aid. The longer you leave it on, the more gross, fuzzy, sticky stuff gets left behind (I am a firm believer in the fact that there is no painless way to remove a band-aid, with the exception of a public swimming pool).

Personally, I hate doing it. I especially like the -ly verbs. LOVE THEM! But I don't need them. Carving away the crutch verbs and words is a bit of work, but there is that wonderful sense of accomplishment once it is done.

Know it is possible.

After all, the most important weapon to the ninja is not a physical object at all. It is their mind.

Backup! We need backup!

So here's the story. At the writers group I attended last weekend, I learned something interesting. If you are writing a romance, there should not be more than 10 pages in a row where the hero and the heroine are not together. Thinking about it, this makes absolute sense. It is after all, a story about the relationship between two people.

This also threw me into a panic, because I knew for a fact I had big chunks of time where the hero and heroine aren't together. I just didn't know how many pages each chunk of time took up. I started sifting through my book.

Something strange happened. I couldn't find a scene. It was that feeling of, "Where did I put that thing." I knew I had written the scene. I knew where it should be. The scene that followed it was in place. Where was it?

It was gone.

I had this flashback to a couple of times where I had trouble saving (some sort of little warning popped up), but then the warning went away and the file opened again so I forgot about it.

Now, I remembered the warning.

My computer's memory always seems to hover on the edge of full (I have an iTunes addiction but refuse to seek help). My theory is the file made room for the new information by getting rid of some old stuff.

Here is where I rejoiced:

I had backed up my work! I don't always do this but there are some things that are just easier to back up than not. This story is one of them. After a frantic ten-minute search, I found the little folder with back-up versions and one of them had the missing scene!

Much rejoicing.

Now, I was curious. I did a bit more sleuthing and found another scene was missing! Guess where I found it? In the same backed-up file!

It may sound like I am bragging about my back-up skills, but in reality, I am just amazed this worked out. As soon as I knew my scene was missing, I had assumed it Lost Forever. More than once, I have written a school report only to have the computer crash and all my work lost. Finally, I learned the ctrl+S trick and life has become much more pleasant.

So here is my tip of the day: This very moment, pick your most favorite file (or most important file). Heck, pick all of them, and take some time for a little bit of back-up. Stick it on another computer, put it on a disk, email it to yourself, print it out. You just never know when you will be glad you did.

Now, back to counting pages.

The Little Red Hen

In the real world, the Little Red Hen does not eat the bread.

In the real world, the Little Red Hen ends up roasted and served on the table for supper.

There are times in life when one has to stop and realize they have become the Little Red Hen. Unlike the Little Red Hen, one cannot make a snap decision at the end of the story and say, "I have made my decision. I am putting my foot down. No bread for you." Once this point has been reached in the real world, the time required to lower a foot is exponentially higher than the amount of time it took to raise it.

My point: Don't be the Little Red Hen. But don't be the Duck either.

One of the best things about writing stories is never having to be the Little Red Hen.

I suppose there may be some authors out there who have wearied of writing for the masses and only write for themselves. They may consider themselves The Little Red Hens of the writing world. The late JD Salinger comes to mind. Anyway, this title assignment comes nowhere near something that could be applied to myself in this context, so I am going to go ahead and stick with my previous statement.

One of the best things about writing stories is never having to be the Little Red Hen.

If the Duck and the Marmot want bread, they know they will need to plant their own wheat. As for the Hen, she knows from the start the bread tastes better if you grow your own wheat, water your own wheat, chop your own wheat, grind your own wheat... random farming and cooking references related to wheat.... Bake your own bread.

Every now and then, you might need to stop by the neighbor's house to borrow a scythe or some other device to remove the occasional noxious weed that creeps into the mix, but that doesn't mean your neighbor is baking the bread for you. It might mean lending them your tiller if they need it.

And the whole way through the process, the best part is smelling your bread cooking. Even when the wheat it is still in the ground, you catch an occasional whiff in the air and it smells warm and buttery.

However, at times it can be difficult to keep this in mind. Especially when being measured for the roasting pan.

Writer's group

I have joined a writers group. A group of writers have allowed me to join their group. Whichever way you want to look at it.

Either way, last Saturday, I got to sit in a room full of writers and talk about books and writing and listen to other writers and hear about their group adventures and IT WAS SO EXCITING! As a friend of mine says when she is in a good mood, ILOVECAPSLOCKS!!!!!!!

At first, I was nervous about being a stranger asking to join a group of people who already know one another, but it was wonderful. Everyone was so interesting. There was tea. Did I mention there was book talk?

I can see why people rave about these things. Looking forward to the next meeting!

Using the internet as a research tool - Unjinxed version

I have decided the last blog post was jinxed. Ergo, I have deserted it and am writing what I wanted to say there, only here.

We are to be wary about doing research for our writing online. However, I have been doing a surprising amount of it and have compiled a list (Surprise!). Here are some ways I think using the internet as a research tool can be effective in helping a person write what they know.

• Amazon (and other online book stores). Sometimes, there is that strange, obscure book you can't find in your local library or used book store. It is worth a shot trying to get the library to order one in. If that fails, try the internet.

• Finding that strange, obscure book. There are a number of book review sites or sites that list books related to a number of topics

• Youtube. Online videos provide a way of showing an event that cannot be experienced in real life. This could be a moment in history, a particular activity (to get the feeling of the moment - ex. watch the parents at a kids sports game vs fans at a professional sports game. The feeling is different).

• Podcasts and other voice recordings can help give a feel for accents and regional dialect, sounds of things (ex. church bells in a specific town, horse hooves on concrete (there is more than one type of clop), the sound of a tree falling).

• Online images. See how a place looks when it is raining, when it is snowing. How a person's hair looks when they are falling. A nervous smile. A friendly smile. A goofy looking donkey. The possibilities are endless.

• Online recipes. Learn how strange foods taste. Learn a fancy recipe. Learn a foreign recipe. Purposely burn something you normally like. Purposely add / remove an ingredient.

• Online catalogues. Order that unobtainable item. That thing that must be physically experienced, not imagined.

I know there is so much more. Does anyone have more examples?

I need the silence

Please allow me to expand.

I can't talk about what I am writing with my loved ones. I have a few friends that sort of know what is going on. My husband has a vague reckoning but hasn't heard any passages read out loud or anything. Every now and then, I'll let him know a bad guy has rolled into town.

My family knows something is up. After all, they drove me to the airport when I went to the SiWC. My aunt drove me to the building each morning and picked my up each afternoon. For her, I made up some poor excuse of a title I said I gave whenever someone asked if I was writing something: "Broken in Three Places: The Story of [My Aunt's Name]'s Leg." I'm still working on that one. A real tear-jerker.

They're not dummies.

I just can't talk about it.

Why is this?

I care about their opinions too much and if I let them tell me their opinions about this story, I may never finish this book. I'll finish a different book, but not this one.

So we don't talk about it. Sometimes, when I am typing at my computer, someone will ask what I am doing and I will respond, "Writing things down." That is enough for all of us.

For now, this book has to be for me. I can mess around with scenes, backstory, dialogue etc... and not worry about it being stupid. It can have stupid parts, because I am the only one reading it. Once I have most of the stupid parts out, they can go to a critique partner. Once they help me drag away most of the remaining stupid, perhaps I will be able to send it off to an agent, editor, publisher, etc...

Then, I may feel ready to show my loved ones. Then I will feel it is completely not-stupid and ready for someone else. Because although I completely respect critique partners, agents, editors, publishers, etc... (Believe me, I do), they aren't the ones who make me soup when I am sick or the ones who will be stuck paying off my student loans if I get hit by a bus.

That is why it shocks me most when I hear query letter advice about not telling a prospective agent that your family and friends love your book. I would have never crossed my mind.

Its my quiet little secret.

Beauty in Writing

For whatever reason, I have begun writing these stories (begun as in I've been doing it for a few years now). Stories about mermaids, mermen, sirens, finns, mers, whatever you want to call them, that is what I am writing. What does one call them? The more definitively I think about them, the more questions I raise. I think one of the main starting points for me is in every story, the description never quite makes sense.

Why does a mammal have scales? / Why does a fish have hair?
How do they breathe?
Do they have gills? - this would only apply if they are officially fish
Do they come up for air periodically, like a dolphin or whale?

What, officially, is the mermaid genre? Is there really a mermaid genre or are they lumped in with all shape-shifters?

There are a few common themes among mermaid tales - vanity (poems, especially), singing, sailors - but the major focus is their beauty, more specifically, lengthy descriptions of their glorious tails. So many of these stories seem reminiscent of The Little Mermaid (which I love, but I need variety in my life!).

Generally, part of the conflict involves legs vs tail, often involving a decision to change who they are to be with a love interest. This either says something about how special the love interest is or about the poor decision-making skills of the mer(maid / man).

Are people unable to relate to a beautiful creature wishing it was plain? I can't recall the last time I thought, "I wish I could be plain, instead of my extraordinary self," or felt sorry for someone who said that (not that I ever heard it).

In vampire stories, there are generally a few common themes - blood, sun, strength, immortality - and they focus on a mortal and try to protect them (usually successfully, but not always)... or eat them.

Do we identify better with a creature that is a husk of its former self, hungering for a part of its old life? A part of itself lost due to a bad choice? Who can't relate to action-based consequences?

In both however, I see a longing for humanity. A need to belong.

I think there is something more to mermaids than combs and mirrors and waiting for a ship of sailors to wreck on the rocks. I think there is something to be said about basing our opinions of another solely as a result of appearance.

After all, what is beauty? Can it be defined by a hair length, a specific symmetry of features? Are there age restrictions? Or is it something we can smell, hear, taste? Does one need daylight to know someone is attractive. If you can't see beauty in the dark, is it there at all?

There are so many questions swimming around in my head.

I can't stop thinking about mermaids.