Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches Guide to Romance Novels Book Review

Close your eyes and - Wait! - for my friends who think you are funny, read this paragraph, THEN close your eyes and imagine you are trying to sleep.

It is late. You are tired but can't sleep because someone else is in bed with you and they have the lamp on. Not only do they have the lamp on but they are howling with laughter. When they aren't howling with laughter, they are snickering to themselves or nodding their head and saying things like, "That's totally true," and, "I can't believe I didn't notice the connection." To add insult to injury, they try to wake you to read passages out loud from the book they have grasped in their hands.

Did you do it?

Did you picture it?

Did you feel the exhaustion?

You now know how it felt to be my husband when I was reading Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches Guide to Romance Novels by Sarah Wendell and Candy Tan.

From page 1, I found the book informative. I especially enjoyed how the authors brought to my attention swear words I had no idea existed. Words like bugf_ck and a$shat. (There is nothing like a little unexpected profanity to start the day off right.) - I'm such a prude. I want to be a bad girl and write the swear words but there are too many Lucy Maud Montgomery books in my past. Maybe I'll build up my courage one day and come back to edit in the actual letters .

They were close to teaching me about mom pants, and would have if I hadn't come across Uncle Walter weeks earlier (by googling the name 'Uncle Walter' - oh, the places google takes us).

This book has everything: an in-depth look at romance novel covers (they can predict what a book will be like by what is on the cover), good retorts for when someone wants to insult your reading habits, a choose-your-own adventure.

I felt it lagged a bit at the end, but this may have been due to general lack of sleep by this point. *Note* When I say it lagged a bit at the end, it lagged in relation to this book, not in relation to other books on writing or other books in general. Compared to some other books I have read, the end powered on like a steam engine.

I enjoyed this book and would highly recommend it to anyone who:

• Reads romance novels.

• Writes romance novels.

• Reads any other type of novel.

• Writes any other type of novel.

• Has a sense of humor.

• Has a sense of wonder.

• Has a sense of smell.

• Does not mind the odd burst of profanity.